Follow Up on Yesterday’s Episode

Note: This entry should be viewed with caution as it may contain triggers.

As I mentioned in yesterday’s entry I had a bad episode last night, ripe with self-harm. Unfortunately, today was not much better. The episode has left me in really bad shape and I am still feeling depressed. The old feelings of feeling like the world would be a better place without me and that people would be better off without me are surrounding me.

Once again today, my wife and I had a fight. This was a follow-up to last night’s situation. Once again, I hurt myself. I punched myself good and hard a number of times, all the face and head. I think I even slammed my head against the door a few times.

I am hurting really bad the last few days. It bothers me even more because until the last few days I had been doing really well since November. I have slipped so far the last few days it is really depressing. I really don’t want to get stuck in this place again. I need to get back to where I was before this past week. It had taken me so long to get back to where I was before all this happened.