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People Don’t Seem to Understand Me

 More and more each day I feel like most people just don’t seem to understand me and my reactions/feelings. The other day like I said, I was starting to get angry during the conversation because I felt like she was attacking me. Intellectually I knew she wasn’t but I couldn’t seem to shake the feeling of it. Each moment that went on, I got angrier and angrier as I felt like I was being attacked more and more. I could feel myself about ready to lose my temper so I told her I need to go because I was getting angry and didn’t want to take it out on her.

well yesterday I sent her this msg:

Jason said

don’t have time right now..but wanted to say, sorry about having to run the other night…I know it wasn’t what you were doing but I was starting to feel like I was being attacked…and didn’t want to take it out on you since logically I knew that wasn’t the intent…ttyl

‘friend’ says:
no prob, I should know better than to try to help

Sigh, such comments are just so frustrating for me. It just continues to make me feel misunderstood at best…smh…Right now I swear only one person I know really understands me. Some friends who don’t really understand but they try to understand and on some level do understand and even empathize. Thankfully they don’t react like this friend of mine or like ‘nameless woman’.

Now when it comes to ‘nameless woman’. Smh. I am totally disappointed with her, she goes on and on about how important her faith in Christ is, how important the teachings are, how her faith is the center of who she is yet when someone she loves needs her, she turns her back on them. Smh. I told her that the other day and it didn’t go over well *chuckle*. I really thought and believed I could count on her to help me, now I wonder if she is the person I always believed she was. I just don’t know anymore. At least now I know not to depend on her for any help, so I won’t let it upset me. For the first time she has truly failed me and disappointed me. I don’t think I have ever been more disappointed in anyone in my life than I am right now with her.

I should have known better than to trust someone who by their own definition was having an affair on their husband of 25 years despite her deep devotion to her faith. I should have taken A’s advice back in October and rid myself of ‘nameless woman’ then when she had the tantrum over me going to that conference. I think she was right, what was it she called ‘nameless woman’, poison or toxic, well either way I should have listened. Of course I know she will tease me about it when she reads this. Lol. ”see I have told you a lot of times you should listen to me” LOL. Or something like that. Its a good old running tease/joke between us, but 99.9% of the time, it turns out that I should have listened to her lol. Next time I will have to remember to listen…I can’t do much worse than some of my choices lately lmao…

Posted: July 26th, 2008 under My Journey.

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